Personalising A Funeral
Write a letter to the person who has passed away and express all of the feelings you ever wanted to say, but were afraid to or just never got around to expressing. Seal the letter in an envelope for us to place in the coffin.
Your written thoughts will go with your loved one to his or her final resting-place.
Bring in the favourite song of the person who has passed away on compact disc or cassette to be played as part of the funeral service.
Flowers can be handed out to be placed on the coffin at the graveside after the service or at the church or crematorium before.
If your loved one had a hobby of building things or was involved in the arts, crafts or photography, bring some of their works in to be displayed at the funeral. We can even take quilt work and drape it over the coffin for example.
Balloons can be released after the service. Everyone can be given one and some brief words can be said before releasing them in the air.
Bring in photographs spanning the life of the person who has passed away and we will incorporate them into a memory board to be present at the funeral service. These can be photos with family, friends at work, fishing, golfing, knitting, baking, serious and comical.
If you have favourite scripture readings, let the minister know what they are and see if they they can be incorporated into the service.
The person who has passed away has likely touched the lives of many people. For those who knew the deceased, it is often viewed as quite an honour to be asked to speak at the funeral. The speaker need not have a professionally written eulogy but rather may write something personal or select a favorite poem or scripture verse.
If your loved one composed poetry or essays, let us have a copy, they could be recited as a part of the remembering ritual of the funeral.
Place cherished items in the coffin like pictures of the grandchildren and other family members, a photo of the family pet, a well worn cap, or a religious item. We are happy to advise on items which will be suitable.
If a husband always drove his wife everywhere or a wife drove her husband everywhere, consider having the spouse ride in the hearse with our staff member. It is a very personal way of accompanying your loved one to their final resting-place.
Consider a favourite place your loved one liked to go, like their favourite park, or a favourite restaurant, or maybe they were happiest at home. We can arrange to have the procession pass by this favourite place.
Consider the music - you may not want to use the organ, but prefer a CD or cassette player, or even a live musician. Discuss it with relatives, the minister officiating and the cemetery/ crematorium staff.
Consider personal items that might help to reflect the person who has died, or that might make the ceremony more special, such as scented candles or a photograph of the person.
Consider the seating. It may be that if it is not fixed, seats can be placed in a semi-circle for a less formal atmosphere.
Hand people a memento as they leave - one service I attended, everyone was handed a sprig of rosemary which is an emblem of remembrance.
You can get involved on a more personal level by helping to carry the coffin - and sometimes if there are more than enough volunteers, they can take it in turns. The funeral director will give advice and instruction.
Encouraging mourners to take an active part in the ceremony is another way of personalising.
Ask them to bring a token, a flower, note or card, and lay it on the coffin.
Single minded devotion